The Mundane Day-by-Day

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Why write a blog? I get asked this question on an almost daily basis.

Why did I decide to start this small slice of the internet back in May of 2011?

Why share aspects of my life with complete strangers?

Because otherwise I may not be here today.

I let so much weigh down on me over the years. I buried it deep below. I was hurting myself both on the inside and out.

So I decided to release.

Now this blog has evolved over the years as I have.

I don't share every single weigh in. I don't share what I eat each day.

Because life has changed. Also I was tired of getting criticized for what I eat.

But I was sitting back searching through twitter the other day and hearing more and more people complain about many blogs today - all they do is push product or host giveaways.

Yes when I read these comments I immediately think people are talking about me ... about my baby blog.

Cuhlearly not everyone is talking about me, but I take it personally.

I share on my blog what I want. I love talking about the races I have participated in and the new products that may help people improve their own training.

I thought about trying to be one of the bloggers that can write everyday, but it is too much for me.

Plus, I am boring. ;)

My day-to-day life is pretty boring: workout of some sort, lead some Weight Watchers meetings and watch some Netflix.

Woo! Now THAT is one exciting life. Right?

I realized it's okay to share the mundane occasionally ... if that is what I want to write about.

In the end, what I share on this space is up to me. If people want to read it great. If not that's okay too.

I will not please everyone, but the most important person to think about is myself.

myself

Dani Dishes 9-30-13

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, I celebrate running 2 half marathons this past weekend and reiterating my oh so important mantra - Finish What You Started!!  

Weekly Workout Wind Up (9/19-25/13)

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Tough week. I was feeling great until I hit 10.53 miles into my 15-mile run on Sunday. Something was going on in the ball of my foot out to my second toe. Not a happy camper to have to stop my run early. Tried to run Monday and only got 1 mile in before pain started. So I had to take rest days on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tough. I was going to try to Stairmaster or Elliptical, but was advised to try to rest it as much as possible. I DID PASS 850 miles run for the year!! At the end of this week I was at 862 miles. Woo! Bring on my goal of 1,000 miles run in 2013!

Thursday, September 19: 3-Mile Run

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Friday, September 20: 2-Mile Run

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Saturday, September 21: VERT Race Series Big Bad Wolf 5-Mile Trail Run

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Sunday, September 22: 11-Mile Run

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Monday, September 23: 1-Mile Run and 53-Min Spin Class

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Tuesday, September 24: REST DAY

 

Wednesday, September 25: REST DAY

 

I am praying it is okay this weekend with back to back half marathons. Here's hoping rest and foam rolling was the trick!

Why Do I Discredit Myself?

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Pride.

Something I truly feel on a daily basis for the accomplishments and changes I have made over the past few years.

Soooo why do I continuously discredit those same accomplishments?

Easy.

I don't want people to think I am full of myself. I don't want to be considered vain.

Yes, I still think entirely too much about what people think of me.

Having low self-esteem most of my life has gotten me really good at wanting to be a people pleaser.

I always thought if they liked me then I would be able to somehow use that to start liking myself.

I like the core person I was - good friend, loyal, caring, kind, etc - but I focused too much on the outside and letting the weight dictate how I really felt about myself.

So now that I have this little slice of the internet and I share my story - good, bad, ugly - some of the self doubt and worry creep back to the forefront.

I share my accomplishments to show others they CAN do things they didn't think possible.

I open up about the struggles to show I am human and not perfect.

BUT, after receiving a few comments saying I had gotten too vain I was crushed.

I turned to my wife and friends seeking their opinion.

Had I changed? Why couldn't I be happy and share the wonderful things that were happening?

At no point do I try to say I am better than anyone else, we are all on different journeys - which should be celebrated.

I posted this thought on the blog's Facebook page yesterday and wanted to thank Hungry Healthy Happy for commenting:

I think it is an issue for a lot of people that run pages like ours. Maybe because of comments we might have got about being vain when we share a proud moment. But we should be proud and for every 1 person that thinks you are vain, you are inspiring hundreds more.

I have been putting myself and my accomplishments down for too long.

No longer will I share something and immediately follow it up with an apology for it.

As someone noted yesterday, there is a difference between vanity and pride.

I choose to focus on Pride.

And maybe someday I will be able to stop caring SOO much about what others think and more about what I think!

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Anyone else struggle with this?

Dani Dishes 9-16-13

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, it is time for a little birthday recap, a little RnR Philadelphia celebration and letting you know there is still time to take part in my virtual birthday 5k for Tedy's Team!! :) Blog About Event

Registration Page

I need to ask myself: "How Are You Doing?"

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For some reason today was a tough day. I really don't know why. I woke up and felt like a truck ran me over. My wife thinks it was a "second day hangover" from an exceptionally long day on Sunday, which included over 4 hours in the car.

Maybe that was it.

Or maybe it was something else.

I just felt off all day.

I made a comment how I wish I could just hide in my bed all day snuggling with the pups. How could I not - look at those faces!

pups

Okay old pic, but still.

They can brighten any day.

But I didn't have time. I had three Weight Watchers meetings today and if I don't show up 1) members are upset and 2) I don't get paid.

I truly think at the heart of the matter is that I am tired.

I am trying to make the best of my life, but wearing myself out at the same time.

It is very very hard to take a day off from Weight Watchers since 1) I lead so many meetings finding coverage is usually impossible, 2) I feel bad if I have to reschedule a meeting and 2) I lose out on money if I take a day off.

So taking a day off during the week is nearly impossible.

Now I am not complaining - even though it sounds like I am. I like my job and am lucky with the flexibility, but sometimes I miss being in an office and having sick days/reasonable number of vacation days that were easy to use.

Which leaves the weekends for me to relax.

Wellll not so much if I am always on the go for races and training runs.

Again, not complaining. Most of the time I am signing myself up for these things, but I love doing them. I love lacing up the sneakers, meeting new people and pushing my body to a level it doesn't thin it can go to.

But either way it is taxing.

I honestly can't remember the last time I had an entire day off from work or training.

I need to learn how to build those in, but for now I need to make the most of the little downtime I do have.

I must force myself to go to bed earlier - even though I have blogging/emails/tweets/etc to respond back to.

Those can wait.

I need to start putting myself first.

I am the best at asking how others are doing. My members. My readers. My friends. My family.

But I forget to check in with me.

It isn't until I get pushed past the point of exhaustion that I realize "Wow I need a break."

Before my blog I wouldn't have allowed myself to own these feelings.

I mean I do not work long hours anymore. I do not work 100 days straight anymore. I left that lifestyle behind.

But it's like I am making up for it now. I am trying to jam as much fun as possible into my schedule.

I may be paying the price now.

It may not happen until November, but I promise that as soon as I can I will take 1 day completely to myself.

In the meantime, I will keep pushing to figure out where I need to make a change...

I Need A Change...

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Ever have that feeling that something in your life needs to change, but you just don't know what? Yeah... I am currently going through that.

As a whole I am loving life and living it to the fullest, but in some aspect I am lacking.

Something is missing.

Some spark.

Some passion.

Do I have any idea what it is right now?

Nope.

So how do I figure out what the change that needs to be made is?

I'm not sure.

I think I need to really sit down with myself and see what is my life is causing me the most stress, most unhappiness, most headaches and drop it.

Okay maybe not drop that activity/job completely, but stop allowing it to rule my thoughts or dreams or mind.

If I don't try new activities, jobs or paths I will never know what I am truly meant to do ... or be.

Right?

I think so.

Since I was little I thought I knew what I wanted to do. I always dreamed of being a Statistician for the Boston Red Sox. It's the reason I was a Math Major in college. But once I started working for the Red Sox in 2004, I learned that job no longer existed.

Ouch!

But I kept trying.

I found my way in baseball for 8 years and loved it. The hours were tough, but the relationships I made with players, front office personnel and media were unmatched, the travel was exciting and the job itself (PR) was something I loved.

In January 2012, we made the decision to leave Chicago and move to Boston.

I left baseball.

It was tough.

But, I cannot dwell.

I need to celebrate the time I have with my wife. She hated being a "baseball wife."

Now I have more time with friends and family than I have had since probably 2003.

I love being a part of people's weight loss and healthy journeys.

So what do I explore next? I cannot say ... yet.

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Have you dealt with the inner turmoil of making a "big change?"

Three Things Thursday

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Most of the time my mind wanders from topic to topic and problem to problem and I don't see making an entire blog post about it so I kind of like having the option of doing a little this and that type post. So a Three Things Thursday or a Friday Favorites works for me. PLUS I love alliteration. ;) I am just a dork like that. ***

1) Someone asked me yesterday why I race so much. Well I think the obvious answer would be that I like it. ;) I have grown to love pinning the race bib on my shirt or pant leg, getting in the mix with everyone pre race and just going out there and having fun. I soak up every moment from the start to the finish. Plus, I love a good t-shirt, medal or pint glass.

But really and truly, it keeps me moving. I noticed this summer when I didn't have a big race on the horizon that my training suffered. I took a big break from racing/long distance races from mid May to beginning of August. Apparently I don't work well without a training plan. I think I knew that beforehand. I need someone to just tell me what to do. I think it's why I thrive with training plans. I do not follow them to the letter because you need to adjust due to injuries, life, etc but I love the framework it gives me.

And hey I ended up with 129 miles run in August after capping out at about 80 in each of the previous three months. Thanks  Dopey Challenge training plan.

Now racing is expensive so I have been very lucky this year to be offered some complimentary race entries as well as sponsored race entries (thanks Team Refuel) which has helped me race more than I normally would. I am very fortunate in that regards.

Either way - I think I need to continue to have races on the horizon to keep myself moving, focused and at a healthy weight.

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2) I can't wait to get back to Weight Watchers as a meeting member. I miss just weighing in, picking up my weekly, sitting myself in the back row and being inspired. YES I am continuously inspired while leading WW meetings, but it is a whole different game than sitting in the lime green seat as a member.

I LOVED LOVED LOVED going to my weekly WW meetings. I hated when I was on the road and missed one. So you can imagine what it has been like for me since moving to Boston and not attending really any meetings. It hurts. I feel disconnected. I feel like I lose a piece of me.

I've attempted to attend meetings, but I have either been outed as a WW Leader by the person leading the meeting/someone in the room or have had to work the meeting because someone got sick or was running late. I just need to bear down and make the effort to attend a meeting where either 1) no one knows me or 2) I trust the leader to just let me sit there and be a WW member.

I lead anywhere from 11-15 meetings a week and sometimes I just want to take the WW Leader hat off and just be...

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3) I think I am going to once again host a 5k - virtual option only - for my birthday this year! Last year I had The 1st Annual 30th Birthday 5k Run-Walk Ramble and it was a HUGE success. I had a blast (it was in person and virtual) and I raised $1,000 to put towards my fundraising goal ($5k) for Tedy's Team and the Boston Marathon.

So I am mulling around with the idea of doing it again - The 2nd Annual 30th Birthday 5k Run-Walk Ramble - where people will sign up online and run-walk a 5k wherever they are September 16-22. You will have a race bib you can print off the computer, you will be entered to win raffle prizes AND you will get a Finisher's Medal ... PLUS your payment will go to my $5k fundraising goal to run The Boston Marathon in 2014 once again with Tedy's Team (raising awareness/money for American Stroke Association).

Would you want to participate? Would $25 be too much for a chance at raffle prize (Heart Rate Monitor, Headphones, Pedometer), a Finisher's Medal AND a donation to charity? Let me know as details are still being worked out! :)