Why Do I Discredit Myself?

Pride.

Something I truly feel on a daily basis for the accomplishments and changes I have made over the past few years.

Soooo why do I continuously discredit those same accomplishments?

Easy.

I don't want people to think I am full of myself. I don't want to be considered vain.

Yes, I still think entirely too much about what people think of me.

Having low self-esteem most of my life has gotten me really good at wanting to be a people pleaser.

I always thought if they liked me then I would be able to somehow use that to start liking myself.

I like the core person I was - good friend, loyal, caring, kind, etc - but I focused too much on the outside and letting the weight dictate how I really felt about myself.

So now that I have this little slice of the internet and I share my story - good, bad, ugly - some of the self doubt and worry creep back to the forefront.

I share my accomplishments to show others they CAN do things they didn't think possible.

I open up about the struggles to show I am human and not perfect.

BUT, after receiving a few comments saying I had gotten too vain I was crushed.

I turned to my wife and friends seeking their opinion.

Had I changed? Why couldn't I be happy and share the wonderful things that were happening?

At no point do I try to say I am better than anyone else, we are all on different journeys - which should be celebrated.

I posted this thought on the blog's Facebook page yesterday and wanted to thank Hungry Healthy Happy for commenting:

I think it is an issue for a lot of people that run pages like ours. Maybe because of comments we might have got about being vain when we share a proud moment. But we should be proud and for every 1 person that thinks you are vain, you are inspiring hundreds more.

I have been putting myself and my accomplishments down for too long.

No longer will I share something and immediately follow it up with an apology for it.

As someone noted yesterday, there is a difference between vanity and pride.

I choose to focus on Pride.

And maybe someday I will be able to stop caring SOO much about what others think and more about what I think!

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Anyone else struggle with this?