Defying Gravity...

Normally when running, I just sing along to the musica internally since well ... I can't sing to save my life. It is painful for the people around me so I usually allow the inner voice - which of course sounds like Jennifer Hudson - to belt it out. However, there are those rare times when the path is empty, I'm in either a really BAD or really GOOD mood and I let myself BELT the music out outside of my head.

This generally only occurs when I am in a particularly horrible mood ... which unfortunately has been happening a lot lately.

SO what happened?

Well, last week I was having one of those off days so I secured my X-1 Audio swimming headset contraption to the back of my Team REFUEL visor and set out for a run.

I've only put three albums (are they still called that?) on my iPod shuffle inside the X-1 headset so far: Wicked, P!nk and Adele. Can you tell I was emotional when I selected these? ;)

Midway through the run one of my favorite songs from Wicked came on - Defying Gravity!

The song came on, the path was clear and I started BELTING this song at the top of my lungs. If anyone drove by me, I apologize for the noise. ;) Especially since I had the headphones in so I had NO IDEA how loud I was probably singing. :P

No matter my mood this song empowers me and it worked its magic again that day.

I'm through with playing by the rules Of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try Defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity And you can't pull me down!

THIS! 1,000 times this. Singing this out loud reminded me why I started this crazy journey four years ago. This journey of shedding the weight, trying new things, starting to run ... it was all to break the rules OF MY OWN GAME.

It was time to take the leap and try! It was time to prove people wrong - that I could lose the weight, that I could become a runner, that I could change my life.

So when these moments of self-doubt or self-hatred creep into my mind, this lyrics are on a constant loop inside my head. And as always I'm singing them just as well as Kristin Chenoweth - obviously!

But, for me. The main person I am singing to is not a social media hater or an unsupportive friend ... but myself! I am the one that is constantly doubting my abilities.

So if you care to find me Look to the western sky! As someone told me lately: "Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!" And if I'm flying solo At least I'm flying free To those who'd ground me Take a message back from me Tell them how I am Defying gravity I'm flying high Defying gravity

And the accomplishments I have started flooding through me: shedding 60+ lbs, completing 10 half marathons, running 3 marathons, trying classes like Hip Hop, Zumba or Yoga, putting myself out there through my blog, sharing experiences I never thought I would and constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

So this week my goal is every time a negative thought about myself creeps in - I'm combating it with an accomplishment.

Nixing the negative baby!

I've made this promise before and attempt for awhile then fall back into old habits. But, the win is? At least I keep trying. At some point it has to stick, right?

***

Can you relate? Do you have an empowerment song?