I Should Be My Own #1... — Weight Off My Shoulders

The past few weeks for me have been a negative spiral inside my head. I'm not good enough.

I'm not strong enough.

I'm not worthy.

Why do you bother trying?

I shoulda ... I coulda ... I woulda ...

Now, I think everyone knows that for me the toughest struggle in this whole weight loss journey is switching the mental part from being the first to point out my flaws/self-deprecating humor to being my own biggest cheerleader!

In the deep part of my brain, I know I am worthy of all that has happened in my life in the past 2.5 years, but for some reason it keeps getting blocked by the negativity.

I should be my #1 priority ... ALWAYS!

Then on Saturday morning during my long marathon training run, Jessie J's song "Who You Are" came on my phone. Despite hearing this songs dozens of times before, the lyrics hit me differently this time around ... I really listened to what she was saying.

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I stare at my reflection in the mirror Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error

I nearly left the real me on the shelf No, no, no, no, no

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

Tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are

Who you are, who you are, who you are Who you are, who you are, who you are Who you are, who you are, who you are

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

But tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising There's nothing wrong with who you are

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows like boom Just go and leave me alone Real talk, real life, good luck, good night With a smile, that's my home, that's my home, no No, no, no, no, no

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

Tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are Yeah, yeah, yeah

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It's like she's been in my head the past few weeks. But, she speaks the truth.

WHY do I let myself get so wrapped up in one mistake? WHY do I beat myself up constantly when I don't reach my own expectations? WHY after all this time do I hold myself to this regard of being perfect all the time? WHY do I care so much about what other's think of me?

I. Am. Human.

I. Am. Me.

And now it is time to remind myself of that.

I don't want to miss out on celebrating my successes because I failed to reach the ideal results that I had in my head.

Life isn't going to go exactly how I want it to, but I need to enjoy the ride while I'm on it.

So today is a new day. I'm ready to be proud of my accomplishments and to pick myself up when life doesn't turn out how I want it to.

I am ready to be my own biggest fan because if I can't do it for myself how can I do it for others.

Okay, it's actually WAAAYYY easier to do it for others than to do it for myself.

So let's rephrase : I owe it to myself to be my biggest cheerleader because I am so many other people's biggest supporter - friends, family, Weight Watchers members - and I need to be there for me ... so I can be true to who I am!

I just need to remind myself that no one is perfect so why do I expect to be?

It's time to love me ... imperfections and all! Because accepting me will allow me to be a better friend, a stronger Weight Watchers Leader and a happier runner!