Leaving my comfort zone… one mile at a time.
Leaving my comfort zone ... one mile at a time.
I sound like a broken record.
I need to refocus. I need to track. I need to focus on the healthy foods. I need to remember that I am worth this journey. I need to remember that I am more than a number. I need to remember I cannot be there for my members/personal coaching clients unless I am there for myself. I need to need.
Read MoreNow if we all look at the calendar, we can see that today is in fact Monday and not Friday. Welll I am a tad behind, mmkkay? It's not okay. I wanted to get this post out on Friday following my weigh-in, but life got in the way. I am happy to have a job and see the people I did on Friday, but I didn't have a moment of free "me" time.
Which impacted this post and future postings.
Let's rewind...
Read MoreHey All! Unfortunately I do not have time to grace you all with one of my long-winded stream of conscious posts today. Why you may ask?
Well I had a great morning of personal coaching calls, BUT it is finally Boston Marathon weekend so I need to prep for the afternoon. The fun fun fun starts at 2pm and shockingly I have a lot to do before then including lead one final Weight Watchers meeting during lunch.
Soooo let's get right to it. Shall we? Oh and I am already doing a horrible job about NOT being long-winded. :P
I actually weighed myself at home on Thursday before leaving for work because I wasn't sure I would make it to weigh-in today. Yesterday I was up 1.8 lbs and I let it get to my head. I was angry and hurt. I wanted to see a loss or at least a gain of less than 1 lb. BUT I had committed to tracking everything through that day before taking the tracking pressure off of myself over the weekend.
As a result, I decided that no matter what I would weigh in today as well because well I was curious to see the difference a day could make.
So I had my alarm set - "You are more than a number" - and faced the scale.
Yup up 0.8 - 1 less than yesterday.
Hello fluctuation and whatever else mother nature wants to throw at us.
Now I wanted a loss, but again I was still in the negative. So a gain wasn't totally on my radar. Plus I had been losing for the past few weeks when I didn't expect it.
The -/+ represents how over I was on my points for the week. So being down 0.8 over the past 4 weeks when each was in the negative - I'll take that.
Oh hi perspective I needed you to show up.
I also needed to remind myself that I am a good 20 pounds less than last year's Boston Marathon, I didn't emotionally eat this week on the anniversary of the bombing and I am still down during the entire marathon training cycle.
Proud of my progress this marathon training cycle - Not only on the scale, but also in terms of my cross training and my core/strength work!!
12/5/14 - 159.8 1/2/15 - 160.8 4/17/15 - 151.2
I will take all of it!
Plus I rocked some pretty amazing streaks this year as well.
So overall I am accepting of the gain - not totally shocked - and ready to turn my attention to a fun weekend with friends and running. Now I am not making myself track or beating myself up if I don't, but I still will be aware. I mean once you know the Points of stuff you can't UNknow it, which leads to some subconscious tracking all the time.
***
So I will walk away from the training cycle with less weight (about 8 lbs), a stronger core, some baby arm muscles and a great mental attitude!!
Thank you all for sticking with me and tuning in to my Face It Friday posts/rambles. I will be weighing in next Friday and will as always take whatever the scale gives me.
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How has your mental/emotional state about weight loss changed during your journey?
Happy Thirsty Thursday!!! Oh wait... wrong post!! ;) Haha. Oh I slay me.
Well with a weigh-in tomorrow morning and a night of personal coaching calls for Weight Watchers I will not be taking part in an adult Thirsty Thursday. So pass me the Dunks and water! :)
Let's get to the fun...
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1) Here a few discount codes for some of the races I love the most!
Save $12 on registration for the two triathlons that I will be participating in!!
Distance: 1/3 Mile Swim, 10 Mile Bike, 3.1 Mile Run
Use code: WOMSESCAPE15 (expires May 2)
Distance: 1/4 Mile Swim, 10 Mile Bike, 3.1 Mile Run Use code: WOMST915 (expires June 1)
Race has a Half Marathon and 10k option and takes place September 26.
Use my discount code DANI15 for 10% off.
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2) Have you taken part in the #RunningMakesMeFEEL campaign yet?
Newton Running is partnering with Timex to ask runners nationwide to express how running makes them feel by spelling out words with their run routes, launching a first-ever initiative on this scale.
Inspired by Newton’s new feel Campaign and an emerging trend among runners, The Run It, FEEL It, Spell It Challenge will encourage runners to track their run routes using GPS devices.
I finally tested out my new Timex watch yesterday! Can you tell what #RunningMakesMeFEEL? ;)
Runners will then submit GPS map screen grabs – and the words therein – through Twitter and Instagram using the hashtags #RunningMakesMeFeel and #promo to win prizes including:
The Run It, FEEL It, Spell It Challenge runs through May 1. The challenge is open to all runners and running enthusiasts in the U.S. To learn more about The Run It, FEEL It, Spell It Challenge visit Newton Running. Join the conversation on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
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3) Have you heard about the latest partnership?? Sparkly Soul will now be sold at Athleta stores and online (12 specific colors)! Woo! Two of my favorite brands partnering together.
To celebrate this sparkly union, Sparkly Soul is celebrating with 12 days of giveaways - #12DaysOfAthleta - and today is Day 2! Head over to twitter, follow Sparkly Soul, use hashtag #SparklyAthleta and get in on the fun.
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Have a happy Friday Eve! ;0)
To say I didn't want to step foot on the scale today would be an understatement. Why be afraid of the scale? Well it was one emotional week which lead to some off-plan food choices and general merriment that happened over the weekend. For the first time in probably years :P I had three social engagements in one weekend. Ummmm yeah I don't normally have that many in a month. ;) Also not kidding. I don't have much of a life so really the only times I really get very off plan is sheer laziness.
But anyway... this week was a different situation. From the get go I was all over the map with happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness, boredom, hopelessness... I mean you think of the emotion I was probably feeling it.
Now the entire week was not a bust. There were a few times that I realized I was reaching for food out of anger rather than hunger. So I will celebrate those few instances.
Overall, the week was one that I couldn't wait to wipe clean. I thought I would just avoid the weigh-in and just start fresh today. Wellll while looking in the mirror Wednesday night (doing my #30DaysOfPositivity challenge), I told myself there was NO reason to avoid weigh-in and to buck up and just get on the damn scale.
I mean there is no reason I should allow this object to dictate my self-worth SO I devised a plan: accountability.
After completing #wwchat and my #30DaysOfPositivity, I vowed to make Thursday an on-plan kick-ass day! Thursday is the final day of my Weight Watchers week and I wanted to go out on a good foot.
And you know what - it worked. Every time a negative thought came in my head, I reminded myself I was only going to be positive.
I also reached out to my Weight Watchers members and told them I would get on the scale no matter what the next day. I have to live what I preach - right?
Then I set a special label for my Friday morning alarm...
Then my friend Justin made an even better one!!
I was all smiles when he texted me this! After reading these, I was actually amped to get on the scale and use THAT as my week's fresh start.
So this morning the alarm went off, I looked at the finished product of my week.
(I calculated that 92 of that 117 came from booze)
And looked at what Friday would bring...
... a clean slate!
So on the scale I went and...
it was a loss! Sssaaayyy wwhhhaaa??
I thanked the scale gods and jumped off the scale as quickly as possible.
Now I won't be going off and repeating the same actions I took this week just because the scale was kind. Instead I am learning from my tracker (hello feedback) and devising some new strategies to handle emotional eating the next time it happens.
***
Since the beginning of the year I've only missed 3 weigh-ins: 2 because I was out-of-town and 1 because I slept through it. My goal in 2015 was to be more consistent with weigh-ins and tracking and I think the weight record speaks for itself that it is working!!
Consistency was also my goal in 2014 and I didn't follow through. So I'm happy to see Attempt 2 at consistency is starting off on a better foot. :)
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In addition to not throwing away the entire week just because I had some bumps in the road, I am proud of the streaks I have.
When I felt like everything was slipping away from me this past week, I knew that I had control over one thing: my streaks.
For those wondering: I use the Simple Habits app on my iPhone to track my Streaks.
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Now facing the scale when I didn't want to and tracking my choices no matter what hasn't ALWAYS been my M.O. There have been plenty of times during this journey that I skipped my meeting and waited a week so I could "lose the gain" or I knew a food choice was soooo bad I "didn't want to see it." But over time I've realized that doesn't help me change the relationship with my scale or my food choices.
Now tracking it no matter what or getting on and seeing the gain, helps the guilt or fear pass quicker then before. And it helps me get back on track faster.
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How do you motivate yourself to track the good, the bad and the ugly?
I'd been feeling pretty rough - coughy, fatigued, etc - for about four days or so before I finally took the advice of my loved ones and headed to the Minute Clinic on Tuesday. It was there I received my diagnosis: bronchitis. Oof! With a diagnosis came meds. There really isn't any way to track my cough drops or meds in eTools so I just took what was needed and trusted the process.
Another side effect of being sick: limited activity. Now I was still moving since the doctor said it was helpful to breaking up the mucus, but not like I usually do. So far in 2015, I've averaged about 90-105 Activity Points per week.
This week? 63.
So I had no idea what to expect on the scale. I assumed I'd gain since that is what normally happens when I am sick.
I made the call that I would once again step on the scale no matter what.
Annnddd....
Say wha???
I was speechless! This is the lowest weight I have been since 6th grade. Yes junior high. My previous low with WW was 153.4, which happened twice.
Now I know there could be many factors into the weigh-in this week. But for now I am going to thank the Scale Gods and move right along.
Do I know if the scale will balance back out next week? Who knows. But worrying about future weigh-ins has never helped me in the past... so why start now?
I am going to bask in my ability to stay mindful with my food choices this week. Normally when sick I use it as an excuse to eat whatever I want because my "body needs it."
How did I check in to make sure my food cravings/desires were real or not?
I took a line from one of my WW members and asked myself:
Am I feeding my brain or my stomach?
This gave me the 10-15 seconds to realize that I really only wanted X because it sounded good NOT because it would help me get better. Thank you awareness!! :)
I also give a big ups to tracking, which also held me accountable during the week when I had more downtime than usual. Man when I am not working out I really have a lot of time to mindlessly eat! :P
So this upcoming week I will stay the course and keep doing what I'm doing!
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Do you track while you are sick?
Prior to my Thursday 8am Weight Watchers meeting at the Boston Center, I was chatting with one of the members before she got on the scale. She shared how she faces the scale each week no matter what. As she simply stated:
The number will be the same whether I step on the scale or not.
<<Light Bulb Moment>>
I've heard this before. Heck I've even said it to other members. But for some reason in that moment it hit home.
I had been wavering on facing the scale this morning and that moment pushed me on to the scale today.
Why didn't I want to get on the scale? Well it could be something about being wwaaay into the negative.
Yes to the tune of -115!
Now I know from personal experience that I can be very in the negative and still lose weight. But this week I just didn't want to see a gain. It had been a very emotional week and I thought seeing a gain might put me in a bad head space... like the previous week's gain had.
BUT I had to pull up my big girl panties undies sparkle skirt and get on the scale anyway. I had to show the scale that I wouldn't be defined by any stupid three-digit number.
And you know what! I lost 1 pound.
Yay! Well that was a nice surprise.
Now I'm still up 2.2 lbs for the past month, BUT I am back in my free Lifetime range.
Time to buckle down and refocus. I am working through my funk and hoping to curb the emotional eating that is resulting from it.
Ironic since this week's WW topic was emotional eating. It's like WW knew I needed this week for my own personal journey. Thank you WW.
While February wasn't my best month in recent history food-wise, I AM proud of the many streaks that I was able to keep in tact.
I owe big props to the Simple Habits app for keeping me motivated. Yes a stupid app keeps me going. I get super excited every time I can check off another accomplishment.
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Lesson From This Week (that I have relearned for the 1,000th time): Tracking Honest Tracking Works!
Even if you are in the negative and upset with yourself, push past that feeling and track it. Owning the choices really will help you move past the guilt faster and make it easier to get back on track! I promise.
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This week's #NSV (Non-Scale Victory): Bridesmaid Dress Edition... 2008 vs 2009 vs 2015!
On Saturday I was wicked nervous to go with my cousin to try on the bridesmaid dress for her upcoming wedding (8/8). Internal fear struck of not fitting into the options they had. Who could blame me the only other weddings I was in I had to buy a size 22 (left) and 18/20 (center).
But we went and I slowly put on the sample (size 12) and it was too big!! They actually had to add clips to the back to get it to stay up. So I was actually told to buy a size 10! Well my bust line and hips measured a 10, but my waist was a 12/14 (hello excess skin), but she went with the 10.
Aaahhhh?!?! Me!! Yes me! I can't even put into words the feelings that took over my whole being! Okay I can - it was so much PRIDE!! Now to use that feeling and that dress as motivation to continue crushing my goals!
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Did you face the scale this Friday?
For those that don't know, I have lost 80 pounds (60+ with Weight Watchers).
I hit goal with WW in January 2012 and successfully kept the weight off for about 2 years.
Until...
(Left pic) In June 2014 I faced the scale after a bad winter/Spring and saw 178.6! I had hidden away from the scale and lied to myself about the weight gain. But at that moment I reclaimed my mojo and got back to basics. So while I trained for my first Half Ironman I lost weight. I tracked, attended my weekly Weight Watchers mtg, focused on portions and fueling my body.
(Right pic) January 2015 and back at goal (155). I'm in a much better space mentally and still tracking, watching portions and refueling my body while I train for the Boston Marathon.
Many said they didn't notice my 23 pound weight gain, but I did. I felt it as I trained and completed two marathons in a week in April 2014. I felt it as my tracker sat empty. I felt like a fraud to my WW members. I felt it in my soul.
While I never wanted to have a gain of that magnitude after hitting goal, I'm glad I did as it made me a stronger and more resolved in my journey to maintain my weight loss.
Now I can say I am back to being a person who shed 80-pounds.
Can I say with 100% certainty that this won't happen again? No! But I am in a better place to recognize the warning signs of struggle, depression and general BLAH feelings that lead me to emotionally eat.
So if you have had a backslide, you are not alone. Start with one small change to help right the ship.
Now when we last met on January 9th I had gotten myself back down to goal. Like goal on the nose - right at 155.
I was elated.
2014 was a horrible year for me weight wise so I am happy to be starting 2015 in a better frame of mind and a better number on the scale.
I was unable to weigh in last week because 1) I slept through my alarm to weigh in Wednesday morning and 2) I was out of town at Disneyland on Thursday/Friday. I felt okay with having the week off from the scale.
BUT that didn't mean I gave up tracking.
I made a deal with myself. I would NOT make myself track during our 5 days away at Disneyland IF I tracked every Bite, Lick and Taste up to that point... which I did. I tracked for 69-straight days before the trip.
When we left for Disneyland, I told myself I could enjoy whatever I wanted while there as long as I got RIGHT back on track as soon as I got home.
You know what? It worked!
I enjoyed a Mickey pretzel and a Mickey ice cream, as well as other indulgences... guilt free! I did make sure to wait and enjoy the pretzel and ice cream on the FINAL day of the trip as to not tempt myself to have them everyday. It worked like a charm!
We arrived home Monday night after having an absolutely amazing time. I earned 90 APs and tracked over 125k+ steps on my Fitbit. So yeah there was some moving involved while away.
Costumes from the Run Disney Star Wars 5k, 10k and Half!
But when I woke up Tuesday morning I got right back to business. Was the day perfect - not at all, but I wrote it all down. And it really felt great to be back to my normal routine.
So I stepped on the scale Friday fearing what the number would say.
155.6 - a 0.6 lb gain! Oh hellz yeah that is a manageable gain. I was thrilled. Cuhlearly being on track surrounding those 5 off-plan days and moving non-stop helped keep the scale in check.
Now can a belated gain show up next week, absolutely! The scale forgets it should be it's lightest on weigh-in day. There are also times when an off week can show up two weeks down the road. The scale is a fickle beast that only shows us one side of the journey.
I am prouder of the fact that I got on the scale despite the fear of the number. I could've hidden away, but what's the point. The number is going to be the same whether I step on the scale now or not. (Have I always lived by the mantra - no - but I'm working on it!)
The scale is always Feedback never Failure!!
The best part was going to Disneyland feeling fit and fabulous. I felt comfortable in my costumes and walking around the parks - something missing from my trip to Disney World last year.
I want to hold on to that awesome feeling as I continue to train for the Boston Marathon AND prepare for our trip to Disney World next month.
We are heading to Disney World February 19-24 for the Run Disney Princess weekend races (5k, 10k and Half). I made another pledge with myself: If I track every day between now and Feb 19, I will allow myself to enjoy Disney World tracking free. I feel again this is a good tactic for me and one that allows me to indulge guilt-free.
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Does this mean there is no mental tracking going on? Oh definitely not. I have been doing WW long enough that I still have a tally in my head even when not putting it in the tracker.
When we got to the airport, I went to the "healthy snacks" wall at Hudson News and picked up Chex Mix and some Trail Mix. Yes I know I could've gotten grapes and yogurt, but I didn't want those and I hadn't had Chex Mix in months.
Again I said I wouldn't track, but for my own knowledge I needed to know the points. Why? So that the next time I tried to buy them I would know how much it would cost me.
Because once you look up the points of something - you never UNknow it! Am I right?
The bag of Chex Mix from Hudson News cost me 23 points. OUCH! Worth it in that moment? Yes!
The bag of Trail Mix from the "healthy eats wall?" Entire bag 28 points. My wife and I split it so 14 pts each. Worth it? Nope! But I live and learn. Now I know for my next trip to scan these items before buying - even if I am not tracking. Scan them because knowledge is power people!
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So there are my life lessons of the last two weeks. I made some great choices. I made some not great choices. BUT I owned every choice I made, practiced self-forgiveness, re-found some confidence that was missing and got right back to business when "vacation mode" was over.
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How do you handle your vacations when it comes to tracking/healthy choices?
I did it. I faced the scale. I didn't want to. I thought of 1,000 reasons not to.
Then I got a text from a friend saying she would be facing the scale every Friday no matter what and that I would be her accountability buddy.
Fiiinnnee universe. I will take that as a sign to just get it over with.
Also, I made the promise in last week's Face It Friday post (read here) that I would continue to weigh in AND after a holiday just to stay connected.
The number on the scale does not measure success or failure for me, but rather feedback. Yes I would love to stay at a certain number, but if that numbers goes up I will no longer say I failed. I will look at my tracker, reassess what worked and what didn't and move on.
So today I got up and faced it.
I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I had a heavy point day the day prior, I drank 2 beers (which I never do the day before weigh in) and got my period. Lucky me, huh? :P
Plus I hadn't weighed in since Christmas Eve morning and had a ROUGH week foodwise.
While I tracked it all or estimated as best as possible, it wasn't good. I indulged too much and didn't have enough fruits/veggies.
But I owned every decision.
And the scale read...
Ick! I was hoping to at least stay in the 150s. Oh well. I got my feedback and today started a fresh clean week.
Boy I love the look of a new week.
I followed two weeks of losses with two weeks of gains, not okay for my goals.
Now my immediate reaction was to shy away from posting about the gain. But you know what folks gain. Heck I gained that 20 lbs back in the Spring. I wasn't happy about it, but I am human. Sharing about the struggles are par for the course in this tricky world of maintenance.
So I am working past the negative comments in my head and focusing on the positives of this past week:
^ Faced the scale when I didn't want to or could've taken a NWI
^ I've kept the streak alive for hitting goal on my activelink - 27 days and counting
^ I earned 100 APs this week. Also the gain proves that you cannot out workout a bad diet!
^ I extended my tracking streak to 56 days. Not every PPV entered was exact, but I estimated as best as possible.
^ Set a course PR at my New Year's Day 5k!
It was the fifth-straight New Year's Day I kicked off with a 5k.
^ I used recipe builder even though I wanted to pretend the homemade cookies from my dad were less PPV than they were.
So my dad makes these delicious cookies with raspberry jam and this gooey glaze. I was counting them this past week as 2 PPV since I could eat them in 2 bites (tiny cookies). But I knew that had to be low. I asked my dad for the recipe and he happily gave it to me. Okay he gave it to me after saying: "I don't think you want to know how many points these cookies are!" Oh dad, that is exactly when I do! :)
I proceeded to enter the recipe into recipe builder and got the PPV of the whole recipe. My dad said the recipe should make 36 cookies, but his batch is usually around 30. I put 36 cookies into the builder and got 3 PPV per cookie. THEN I looked myself in the mirror and said put in the actual number - 30 - which turned it to 4 PPV each!
OUCH!!!!!
But I went back into my tracker and correctly tracked the cookies.
I was proud of myself for 1) not pretending the cookies were less PPV than they were and 2) taking the bull by the horn and saving the recipe/PPV in my tracker so I am prepared for the next time I come face to face with those cookies.
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While this week wasn't ideal, I am still proud of the things I learned and truly did enjoy ever PPV I used. Facing the scale can be scary, but it doesn't define you as a person:
See the number, accept it and learn from it!
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How do you face the scale when you don't want to?
My name is Dani and I am blogging out of the Boston Area. I started this blog in May of 2011 after suffering a back injury and subsequent back surgery in December 2011-January 2011. This space was to serve as a way for me to release the inner feelings I was carrying around and maybe help some other people going through similar situations: eating disorders, depression, weight loss and more.
