Dani Dishes: I Am A Fighter

On this episode of #DaniDishes instead of giving myself the I Am A Fighter speech while looking in the mirror ... I took it to youtube! :)  

Face It Friday: Putting September Behind Me

The month of September featured both highs and lows: * Completing my first half ironman - big high!! :)

* Reducing activity to recover - sad low!

* Had a blast turning 3-2 - motivating high!

* Taking the celebration of my birthday from a day to a couple weeks - disappointing low!

* Enjoying some new delicious craft beers - delicious high!

* Tracking the good, bad, ugly - high and low! I didn't make my promise of tracking everything in the month of September - missed 1/3 of the month.

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But now we are in a fresh month ... okay I know we are technically 10 days into a new month, but to me a "fresh month" starts whenever we need it to happen.

From August 29 through today (10/10), I regained 4.5 lbs. Not happy with that, but I know it could've been worse. There were still some great things I did during that month and I am focusing on the positives.

But I faced the scale today to see that in the last two weeks I gained 0.7 lbs. That is okay.

It is fascinating that when I tend to go off track my body jumps to 161 and sits around there. It is such an odd thing I have learned about my body during the 2.5 years since hitting goal. Do I know why? Nope, but a pattern I have noticed.

This past week I had decided not to track over the weekend it was a big three days of indulging, two wedding celebrations and a lack of activity. I had 14 APs by Monday morning which is the least I've had in ages.

But after a walk with two of my fellow Weight Watchers leaders, I went back to guestimate as best I could. No need in lying to myself or my tracker.

It felt better to own up to the choices.

So my goal going forward is to gain more control over my weekends (as has been the goal all summer) and find a better balance.

Either way I am 4.9 lbs away from being back into Lifetime range and 6.9 lbs from Goal. I will get back there, but in the meantime I am happy that my clothes are feeling looser and I am in the healthy weight range for my height (which is most important).

We are more than a number... remember that!

On the flip side I would be happier with a little less weight off my surgically repaired back so focusing on getting back to the 150s!

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Do you plan controlled indulgences during the week?

Three Things Thursday: Mish Mash

What up everyone? I am hoping everyone is enjoying this fine Thursday! I am happy to report that I am mentally and physically back into a good mental state. Winning!

I had promised to myself at the beginning of the week to blog each day. Unfortunately I missed that yesterday, but I was feeling good overall and just busy.

Today I will do a little catch-up:

1) My body is currently being taken over by some sickness/cold... and I do NOT have time for that. :P Starting Sunday I have three half marathons in four weeks and I would like to be healthy for them. So today I listened to my friends and my body. Instead of going for a 4-mile run, I did a 2,200 yard swim workout and an hour-long walk with friends. I am now snuggled up in bed hoping to get to sleep early. Please send some healthy vibes my way! ;)

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2) In one week I am heading to Runner's World HQ to participate in the Runner's World Half & Festival!! Woo! I am psyched to be meeting up with some of my fellow bloggers AND some amazing online friends. The joy of racing - as I've mentioned before - is seeing familiar faces over a run and an adult beverage. :)

Above are my discount codes which are still live. C'mon folks you KNOW you want to come hang with me in PA!

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3) Recently I've been internalizing my problems. I have felt the nagging familiar feeling of wanting to share the sadness, but not because I don't want to burden people with "my little problems." But doing that led me to being 235 lbs. It led me to cut. It led me to be bulimic and anorexic. That is my biggest struggle still.

The struggle? Remembering that it is OKAY to share my struggles. No matter how small - they are valid. I don't have to hold them all in. Releasing them always makes the situation better.

So remember: Even if you think that everyone has worse problems than you, your problems are worth your time or friends' time. Share. Don't hide. Let the emotions flow! Emotions are okay!!

***

How do you handle being sick?

Monday Musings: Mental Block

I've had this post open for weeks. Just a blank piece of the web staring back at me. That damn cursor blinking back at me. So much in my head wanting to escape, but the words just wouldn't pour out of my brain.

There were a couple of topics I wanted to touch on. But with so many bloggers out there someone already wrote about it ... and about 1,000 times better than I could. So I say to myself: why bother?

It's like for the past few weeks I have diminished my right - no need - to blog. I started Weight Off My Shoulders to give myself a place to release the demons from my mind, share the ups and downs in the life and to impart on folks the lessons I have learned along the way.

So why tell myself I am not worthy to do that?

Why?

Because I am feeling off track and that impacts all other areas of my life.

Sleep? Not happening and really frustrating since some of that is not out of my control.

Balanced eating? Not happening to what I expect from myself.

Fitness? Not happening to the standard I want.

So what do I do next?

Write.

No matter what I am feeling or what the topic is. I am going to work blog each and every day this week. It should open up the creative juices and help me break through this mental block.

Training Plan.

I am also meeting up with my best friend on Saturday to spend the day together and part of the day will be writing up a new training plan for me. I need to have a game plan to keep my fitness level to the point where I want it to be.

I have 9 races left on my calendar for 2014 and I want to finish strong!

Set A Bedtime.

Starting today my goal is to be in bed with lights off and maybe music playing at 9:30 and asleep by 10. This should offer a semblance of a routine back into my sleep pattern. I hope.

***

Get ready folks Weight Off My Shoulders is coming at ya this week! :)

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REMINDER: I am hosting my first Instagram giveaway with Sparkly Soul and it ends Friday. You can enter once a day on IG by sharing #HowISparkle. This doesn't mean you have to be wearing a Sparkly Soul headband - I know some folks are trying to win their first - so show me how you sparkle: volunteering, playing with friends, inspiring others, etc...

***

Have you ever experienced writer's block? How did you push through?

The Dani Ryan Holmes-Kirk 3rd Annual 30th Birthday 5k Run-Walk Ramble: September 2014

When I turned 30 in September 2012, I wanted to celebrate my birthday in a new and exciting way. I didn't want to go out to dinner with friends and family. I didn't want to host a Happy Hour. I wanted to celebrate my healthier lifestyle and the fact that I would be entering my 30s in the 150s! An amazing feat for a girl who at one point topped the scales in the 230s! With the help of my family, The Dani Ryan Holmes-Kirk 30th Birthday Run-Walk Ramble was born. It was an amazing day that featured folks running or walking the 5k in person AND virtually.

Oh that's right! There were printable race bibs and Finisher's Medals for all.

What did I ask in return? A $25 donation be made to Tedy's Team and the American Stroke Association.

Tedy asked the American Stroke Association to work with him to create “Tedy’s Team,” a group of runners raising money for the American Stroke Association and training to complete the Boston Marathon® and the Falmouth Road Race.  Their participation supports Tedy Bruschi’s fight against stroke and honors both the survivors and the loved ones lost to America’s No. 4 leading cause of death.

In addition to the dollars being raised, an equally important issue for Tedy’s Team is the increase in awareness of stroke and recognition of its warning signs. Tedy’s Team is striving to reach as many people as possible in its message of recognizing the warning signs and acting appropriate when seeing them — calling 9-1-1 immediately.

Tedy & I mid-run selfie: Mile 1 of 2014 Boston Marathon

In the past two years I have been lucky enough to call Tedy's Team family. I have run two Boston Marathons (2013 and 2014), the Rock 'n' Roll Nashville marathon (2014) and Falmouth Road Race (2014) with an amazingly motivating and inspiring group of people. Along the way my friends, family, blog readers and online community have helped me raise

$15,575

to help #FightStroke so far.

My 5 Virtual Race Finisher's Medals

I run in honor of my Stroke Heroes - my grandparents - but through this journey, this blog and Tedy's Team it has become so much more. I run, sweat, train and fundraise for all those affected by Stroke.

Tedy and I after Falmouth

I will be applying for the 2015 Boston Marathon team with Tedy's Team and I have a goal in mind:

I want to hit $21k raised!

***

Here's the latest opportunity to help... register for The Dani Ryan Holmes-Kirk 3rd Annual 30th Birthday (Virtual) 5k Run-Walk Ramble!!!

A virtual run-walk means you do the 5k (3.1 mile) “race” at your leisure during the month of September (anytime during the month)!!

Map out your own route, get your own friends together or jump on the old trusty treadmill/bike. Your call.

EVERYONE that completes the “race” will receive a Finisher’s Medal in the mail from me. YAY! How cool is that? I know one of my favorite parts.

Also, everyone will be entered to receive some pretty sweet raffle prizes that I have available!! 

Did you catch that folks? Raffle Prizes. Let's see who has jumped on board so far:

^A #Runner Shirt from the AMAZINGLY AWESOME Pavement Runner

^ A 1BandID - great Boston-based company, which is an ID that attaches right to your GPS watch or shoe

^ ENERGYBITS Sample Pack

^ 3-Pack of Perform Pain Reliever products (Roll-On, Spray and On-The-Go Singles)

^ WYCWYC Keychain thanks to Carla and Roni

^ One pair of ZENSAH Compression Leg Sleeves

^A New Balance 3Axis Pedometer

^ Runfellow "I Like Your Pace" T-Shirt (value $30)

^ A pair of Feetures Running socks (value $10.99)

*Remember list is still growing!*

But you may be asking: “Dani How much will this fun cost me?” or “What is my entry fee going to?”

Well, each participant will be making a $25 donation, where all proceeds go to Tedy's Team. If I make the 2015 Boston Marathon team, the fundraising goal is $5,400.

But wait... there's more!!

I have an anonymous donor who will match up to $1,200 raised by the Birthday 5k! Say whaa?? Heck yeah!

So if you are ready to help me Fight Stroke then check out the directions to sign up below!

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If you would like to take part in the run or walk:

1) Please register. (Make sure you are providing an accurate mailing address because that is where I will send the medal.)

2) You can complete the 3.1 mile or walk or bike whenever you like during the month of September.

3) Once you complete the race please send me a photo of yourself and your time to dani@weightoffmyshoulders.com

4) HAVE FUN!!

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Finisher’s Medal

Download Your Race Bib Here!

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Are you interested in getting in to the amazing raffle prizes? A $20 donation to Tedy's Team gains you 5 entries into the raffle!!

You can donate here.

***

Thank you all for continuing to support me and help raise awareness for Stroke. Please be sure you know the warning signs of a Stroke (courtesy American Stroke Association):

THINK YOU ARE HAVING A STROKE? CALL 9-1-1 IMMEDIATELY!

F.A.S.T. is an easy way to remember the sudden signs of stroke. When you can spot the signs, you’ll know that you need to call 9-1-1 for help right away. F.A.S.T. is:

	Face Drooping – Does one side of the face droop or is it numb? Ask the person to smile. Is the person’s smile uneven?
	Arm Weakness – Is one arm weak or numb? Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?
	Speech Difficulty – Is speech slurred? Is the person unable to speak or hard to understand? Ask the person to repeat a simple sentence, like “The sky is blue.” Is the sentence repeated correctly?
	Time to call 9-1-1 – If someone shows any of these symptoms, even if the symptoms go away, call 9-1-1 and get the person to the hospital immediately. Check the time so you’ll know when the first symptoms appeared.

Top 5 Fitness Wins During My 31st Year Of Life

My 30s have kicked freakin' booty! No seriously. I was wicked nervous about breaking into a new decade on September 16, 2012, but I have no idea why I have been so scared.

During my looooong bike ride last week, I started ticking off the amazing accomplishments I've had since turning 30.

Even in the last 365 days.

I thought I would share with you all my Top Five Fitness Wins as a celebration of my 32nd birthday today (listed in no particular order).

1) Dopey Challenge: This was one of the most life-changing events of my life!

For those that don't know the inaugural Dopey Challenge took place in January 2014 in Disney World and consisted of 4 races in 4 days covering 48.6 magical miles - 5k, 10k, Half Marathon and Full Marathon.

That's right folks I ran 48.6 miles through the parks - and highways - of Disney ... and it was AMAZING!

My main goals were 1) Finish, 2) Have Fun and 3) Take a picture with EVERY character along the way.

All 3 were accomplished. If the challenge wasn't $530, I would do it again in a heartbeat. :) Well not sure I could handle 4-straight mornings of getting up before 3:30am again ... there is no training for that!

2) 2 Half Marathons In 24-Hour Span: Annnddd this solidified my membership as a Half Fanatic (HR #5043)

On September 28-29, 2013, I had a whirlwind weekend. Friday (Sept 27) I took the drive down to the Cape to stay with my friend and fellow blogger Nancy. Nancy and I were both ambassadors for the ZOOMA Women's Series Half, which was happening the next day.

The course was beautiful and really captured the Cape (excited to head back there later this month) and I was really happy with my race (recap).

But after a quick hangout with Nancy and her girls, it was time to hit the road and travel from the Cape to Providence, Rhode Island. Thankfully it was a painless drive.

When I arrived in Providence, I grabbed a celebratory beer and met up with Samantha and Robin. My two good friends and fellow racers. Special thanks to Samantha for letting Robin and I crash at her place for the night.

I had no idea how my legs would handle another 13 miles, but I took any time pressure off myself and just enjoyed the course and the friends along the way. (Recap)

Sub 2 hours for both? I was thrilled!!

I felt so accomplished when the weekend was over, but man the final drive home seemed to take forever. I really missed having my wife there.

I owe a big thank you to Zensah compression sleeves for helping my body stay strong during the training and the races themselves.

3) Half Ironman: Never in a thousand years would I think this would be on my list of fitness accomplishments.

On September 7 this dream became a reality. A Half Ironman is a 1.2 mile swim, a 56-mile bike and a 13.1-mile run. All in a row. Without a time to nap in between. ;)

The training for the half ironman became more of a mental game than a physical one. I ticked the workouts off my training plan (which I put together through a book another blogger recommended), but the mental worry over being able to complete the race within the time limit (8 hours) wreaked havoc on my sleep and my confidence.

The biggest worry? The bike. I learned through the training that 1) the bike is my weakest leg and 2) I don't really enjoy biking. Now that may be because I was doing most of my training alone or it's just not my thing.

My lovely wife and friends kept reminding me that I was the one that signed up for it. Thanks family. I did remember that. ;)

It was supposed to be enjoyable and in the end the race was. One of the toughest parts was lack of headphones. I have been training without them for awhile in preparation, but the race turned out to be 6 hours of just me and my thoughts. Oy! Which became another mental exercise rather than a physical one.

But in the end crossing that Finish Line was exhilarating... and the post-race beer tasted amazing! :)

And I surprised myself finishing in 6 hours and 6 minutes. Originally I thought the race would take me well over 7 hours.

Big thanks to my wife, my dad , my BFF and my niece for making the drive to come cheer me on.

4) 2 Marathons In A Six-Day Span: Sometimes I sign up for crazy adventures in the name of raising money and awareness to Fight Stroke with Tedy's Team.

 

So on April 21st, 2014, I tackled my second running of the Boston Marathon (with a lot of complications along the way).

Because I have amazing friends and family I had a surge of donations before the race, which got me thinking about joining my teammates for a second race that week at Rock 'n' Roll Nashville. Two teammates had committed to doing the full ... and I was tempted.

My goal would be to hit $9,500 raised in order to complete both races with Tedy's Team ... and I was up for the challenge.

When I hit the plane for Nashville, I was at $9k. Thank you friends for fueling my craziness.

After health problems at Boston, I told everyone I would drop to the half in Nashville...

... but I had other ideas since I was feeling okay! ;)

I even completed the Rock 'n' Roll Nashville marathon on April 26 45 minutes faster than Boston.

I even qualified for the Marathon Maniacs (MM #9142) with this awesome feat.

And thanks to you all I raised $10k in honor of all those affected by Stroke after completing 52.4 miles of running.

5) Runner's World Heartbreak Hill Hat Trick: "Hey Dani do you want to run a 5k and 10k on a Saturday then follow that up with a Half Marathon on the Sunday"

HELLZ YEAH!

Ummm when did that become my response? Before 2005 I would've laughed in your face at running even 1/4 of a mile. But when Runner's World invited me to come hang out with some amazing bloggers and run a bunch of miles - I jumped at the opportunity.

It was a crazy experience Heartbreak Hill outside of the Boston Marathon/training for the marathon.

Plus I love being part of an inaugural event... and hanging out with my BFF Shalane Flanagan. She may not know we are actually BFFs.

Similar to the Dopey Challenge, these races were not being run for time, but for fun! I had such a cool experience getting to know bloggers while out on the course. I was one of the few local folks so I was able to share about the history of the town and Heartbreak itself. Those poor Florida bloggers didn't know what they were in for. ;)

I thought it was a once in a lifetime experience, but I am honored to be doing another Hat Trick with Runner's World in PA in October. :) Bring on the bling!

***

There are so many other amazing things that happened in the past year, but I don't want to keep you here all day.

Why?

Because you have celebrating of my birth to do.

How are we celebrating?

By registering for my Birthday Virtual 5k run/walk/bike and/or raffle. I am hoping to have 32 people sign up today in honor of my 32nd birthday.

Check out the info HERE!

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What is your proudest fitness accomplishment of your last 365 days?

32 Sign Ups For The Birthday 5k/Raffle In Honor Of Turning 32?

The day is HERE ... I am now the big 3-2! I am actually pretty excited for it since my 30s have kicked serious booty. Now I cannot wait to see what happens next...

So how can you help me celebrate turning 32?

Donate to Tedy's Team and help me #FightStroke in honor of my #1 Stroke Hero - my gramma.

I am trying to raise the bar as last year on my birthday I raised $463 for Tedy's Team. Today I would love to have 32 sign-ups in honor of my 32nd birthday.

***

There are two ways you can participate:

1) The Dani Ryan Holmes-Kirk 3rd Annual 30th Birthday 5k Run-Walk Ramble

A $25 to Tedy's Team gains you entry to the virtual race, a printable bib, a Finisher's Medal and 7 entries into the raffle.

Sign up here!

2) Make a $20 donation to Tedy's Team and gain 5 entries into the raffle.

Donate here!

I have an anonymous donor who will match up to $1,200 raised by the Birthday 5k/raffle! Say whaa?? Heck yeah!

What does the raffle feature????

^A #Runner Shirt from the AMAZINGLY AWESOME Pavement Runner (value $25)

^ A 1BandID - great Boston-based company, which is an ID that attaches right to your GPS watch or shoe (value $19.99)

^ ENERGYBITS Sample Pack

^ 3-Pack of Perform Pain Reliever products (Roll-On, Spray and On-The-Go Singles)

^ WYCWYC Keychain thanks to Carla and Roni (value $16)

^ One pair of ZENSAH Compression Leg Sleeves (value $39.99)

^A New Balance 3Axis Pedometer (value $29.99)

^ Runfellow "I Like Your Pace" T-Shirt (value $30)

^ A pair of Feetures Running socks (value $10.99)

***

Will you be one of the 32? :)

Face It Friday: A NWI & Eating Disorder Triggers 9/12/14

For the first Friday since June 13, I did not step on the scale. I wasn't mentally in a spot to see the number on the scale. Whether it was going to be a loss, maintain or a gain, I didn't want my week defined by it.

This past week was a HUGE win for my fitness journey. I finished my first Half Ironman and it really was unbelievable.

But the post-race blues set in on Monday... the snacking increased. I took a rest week this week to let the body heal a little, which left me with a lot of time on my hands. Stupid snacks.

I learned a lesson for the next time. Food is not the answer. I will need other things to fill the time during a rest week.

I also allowed the beer to creep into my weekdays. All summer I had stuck with the #drinkend (adult drinks on weekend only), but let that slide this week.

I tracked it all. Owned all the choices.

And I had a victory ... I didn't purge.

For those that don't know, I was in a very bad place with eating disorders for many years. When I overeat or overindulge, the urge to purge can rear its ugly head. So it happened this week. But I didn't give in. I held strong.

I am worth more than the disease. I am not defined by the disease.

I wish I could just snap my fingers and have it go away from my brain, but I can't. So each day is a battle to win. But again I am worth the battle.

I didn't like how it felt being back in that position. It has been since December that I really felt the urges this strong, but this time I didn't cave. Thanks to friends who allowed me to reach out to them when I needed the support.

If you are ever feeling alone or a need to talk, please reach out to me!! I am always here to lend an ear.

But today is a new day. This is a new week ... that includes my birthday!

So I know that this week again I will enjoy, celebrate and track it all. One week, one meal, one decision doesn't  define the journey!

***

How do you handle the post-race blues?

Weekend Wrap-Up: Cupcakes, Beer, Laughs & Race Prep

In case you have been under a rock, you may not know that this past weekend - on Sunday, September 7 to be exact - I attempted and completed my first Half Ironman. Now there will be a whole post detailing the ups and downs during the race itself. You can even read all about my freak out here while packing for the race.

But there was so much to the weekend before leaving at 1pm on Saturday to drive to Maine. So let's see what it was.

I woke up bright and early on Friday morning to face the scale. It was up 0.9 and I was perfectly okay with that. It was only my 2nd gain since recommitting on June 13.

After my weekly weigh-in, I bounded out of the house to get to the gym so I could knock out my final swim workout before meeting up with a special guest.

It was crazy completing the final swim workout of the training cycle. It was getting real.

I hopped on the train to head downtown and meet up with ...

KAT!!!!

It was so great to catch up with my friend Kat, who was in town from Florida for a photo shoot with Reebok.

We met up for brunch at Eastern Standard in Kenmore Square before checking out the Fenway Park area. It was her husband's first trip to Boston so I played tour guide since well I used to be a Fenway tour guide - so I had the credentials to act as one. ;) We just walked around the outside chatting and catching up.

Since it was Friday and we were in the area, we checked out Boston Beer Works so they could test some local brews.

And I had to join in. Like a good host would. Also known as carbo loading for my race. ;)

After sampling some delicious beer and making sure to check in to them on Untappd, it was time to find Kat a cupcake. She had Georgetown Cupcake on the brain so we took the walk over to Newbury St. Now I can't remember the last time I had a cupcake. I think it was at Suzi Storm's wedding in June 2013.

I figured I would pass on the cupcake ... until we stepped inside.

Oh deliciousness.

And Kat's excitement was catchy.

I opted for a Caramel Cheesecake cupcake for me and took a Red Velvet cupcake home for the wife. I know I am amazing. ;)

And it was worth every single Point (I marked it down at 7PPV).

We also opted to get the free cupcake of the day. What is that you ask? Well each day Georgetown Cupcake tweets out the secret flavor of the day cupcake, you see it, go into the store and name the cupcake by name and BOOM free cupcake (while supplies last).

Georgetown Cupcake @GTownCupcake · Sep 5

Today's FREE (not-on-menu) flavor is #DCCupcakes CHOCOLATE GANACHE SURPRISE! Order it by name & it's FREE! 100/location, 1/customer! Enjoy!

It was smaller than their normal cupcake and still delicious (marked down as 5 PPV).

After beer, fun and cupcakes, it was time to walk Kat and her husband back to their hotel so they could head home to Florida. <<insert sad face>>

While I was sad to see her go, I was happy to spend a few hours with her during her whirlwind trip. Thank you interwebs for bringing Kat into my life. :)

Once home, it was time to knock out my second to last bike ride. I was not crying over that. ;)

My furry coaches did a great job keeping me focused.

The wife and I opted for a quiet night in to help stop some of my race nerves. We watched some Sherlock Holmes from the BBC while enjoying a great hoppy beer.

New Albanian Brewing Company Hoptimus

I totally chose this by the label and it was worth it!

On Saturday I woke up early to walk to my Weight Watchers meeting and keep a little normalcy before the day of packing and prep began.

While packing my stuff I had a minor HUGE freakout over the race. I may or may not have told the wife "A hug is welcome many times today" as I stood crying in the living room.

Ummm yeah. She did kindly remind me that I was the one that signed up for it. Yes yes I know.

I will say I felt better after crying out a lot of the nervousness. I also felt the control once everything was laid out and packed.

Once the gear was ready, it was time for my final 20-min bike ride to make sure everything on the bike was okay.

Now again I don't know a lot about biking so without a wheel falling off while biking I dubbed the bike - race ready!

The wife and I loaded up the car, left the pups with my dad and hit the road. Thankfully the hotel was just 80 minutes from our house in New Hampshire. I could tell we were getting close when all the cars around me had bikes attached to them. Fancy fancy bikes too. I was feeling unworthy of being in the area, but tried to push those thoughts out of my mind...

... until we got to bib pick-up.

Oh lord did I feel unworthy again. Tons of folks walking around with head-to-toe Ironman gear, etc. But I tried to remain in my own journey. The wife and I walked down to the water to check out where the swim would take place.

Nice and calm - just like I wanted. :) Since the buoys weren't in the water I had no idea how the swim would be set up, but the swim wasn't really a worry of mine. I felt confident there.

Then I turned around.

This is the hill that led from the swim to transition. Uh yeah. We got to run up that post swim. Uh yay!

We walked up it and I was happy to see it was rock free so running up with bare feet wouldn't be painful.

Once I saw where my bike would be racked, we headed back to the car to drive the bike course.

Oh friends why did I do that. The nerves skyrocketed as I saw the rolling hills. I didn't feel ready for it. I was feverishly texting my friends for support and to calm me down.

Poor wife of mine.

We did see this lovely rainbow, which I thought was a good sign.

After driving the full course, I was ready to get back to the hotel and relax as best as possible. We laid out and labeled all the gear. We enjoyed pizza and a little red wine for dinner. I was in bed at 9pm with Disney's The Princess And The Frog in the background.

With the alarm set for 4am and a wake-up called scheduled from the hotel for 4:15am, I did my best to shut my brain off. Can I tell you this was a tough tough job. Worry was flying. I tried to drone it all out.

The next day would be a memorable one...

***

Do you have a go-to pre-race meal?

T-minus 19 hours until Pumpkinman Half Ironman...

The weekend I have been waiting for all year has finally arrived. The weekend that I really never thought would get here.

During a session entitled “Stop Keeping up with the Joneses” during Fitbloggin (June 2013), we were asked to introduce ourselves.

What I’d love to do as a way to get started, is to have everyone introduce yourself. We’re not a huge group, so just your name and your blog. I’d like you guys to say one weight loss or fitness goal that you’ve seen someone else do that you really wish you could do.

And in that room with my dear friend Sue (aka MrsFatAss) next to me I uttered:

Dani, Weight Off My Shoulders: There’s so many! I’d like to do a half ironman.

Yes thanks to live blogging at the session there is documented proof of what I said.

Sooooo....

I signed up for this race back in November 2013. That was almost a year ago. It is so easy and carefree to sign up for something so far away.

As the days clicked past, the workouts were checked off ... the injuries were treated ... the nerves were hidden.

With each passing day, the discussion of the race was there, but it was surreal. Again it was all the way in September.

Then the reality struck down on August 7 - ONE MONTH. One small month to go until I took on a challenge I never thought I would accept.

And in a blur the race is tomorrow! Tomorrow. Less than 19 hours away to be exact. And I am a BUNDLE of emotions.

Thank you Suzi Storm for this! :) 

Today I have laughed, cried, freaked out (sorry to my wife) and have almost thrown up. While all of this is going on, I am reminding myself I chose to sign up for this. It was my choice. Haha. I wanted to do it and push my limits and my comfort zone. Oh and to have fun!

So much gear!

Now with my bags packed and the gear about to be loaded in to the car, I take a moment to reflect back. This training cycle has had its ups and downs - great runs, horrendous bike rides, splendid swims and a sidelining quad injuries (longest 5 days of rest) - but I am proud to say I gave it my all. I tried my hardest during my workouts and made a lot of sacrifices to get things done.

Are there workouts I missed? Yes.

Do I wish I could've done some things differently? Of course.

Am I happy with the time and energy I put into my training? Absolutely.

I couldn't ask any more from my efforts. Screw that - of course I could. There are shoulda, coulda, wouldas out there, but I can't dwell on them. Especially 19 hours before the race.

All I can do now is trust that I did enough and give it everything I can tomorrow.

No one has expectations for the race besides me. I am my own worst critic/enemy. I know that my friends, family and readers will love me no matter what happens. I am the one putting unnecessary pressure on myself, which I am trying to strike from my mind.

Doing my best to store as many positive mantras, thoughts and feelings in my mind between now and the race start so whenever I feel doubt tomorrow ... it can be banished away immediately.

So now that the crying fits happened, I am going to enjoy the ride.

The plan for today/tonight?

*Drive to the hotel in Dover, NH to unload gear/stuff/bike/etc

* Head to Expo (open 4-6)

* Drive the bike course

* Back to hotel

* Dinner

* Relax/Sleep/Foam Roll/Compression as best as possible

Here's hoping the mental ready catches up to the physical readiness!!!

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If you would like to track me, you can download the All Sports Events app on iPhone or Android. (My swim wave kicks off at 7:11am.)

* Select Upcoming Events

* Select Pumpkinman Triathlon

* Select Results

* Select Athlete Search

* Search for me (my bib # is 365) and click on Dani Holmes-Kirk

* Click on the heart in the right-hand corner to add me as a Favorite

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Thank you all for your constant support and motivation!